I have no business listening
and body rolling to Ginuwine first thing in the morning but I LOVE this song.
Even though I’m out and about more than usual, I am still a granny to the core.
I like the idea of meeting new people but I am not feeling making any type of physical connection at all.
And, I don’t even mean on the deepest level of actually being physically intimate with someone.
Even the slightest kiss gets me hella flustered and stressed out.
For me, kissing is extremely intimate and as a single lady it amazes me how guys are so ready to kiss from jump.
Whole time I’m just staring at their mouth like “eww…I have no clue who and what’s been in there!” #ick
I went on a date a few days ago and when I didn’t kiss him at the end of the night, he had the nerve and audacity to call me a prude.
I wasn’t even offended though. I was just genuinely surprised that he was so bothered, especially when I was extremely low-key the entire date.
I could see if I had been all over him and giving that good ol’ come hither stare but I legit treated the date like I was out with one of my homegirls.
I kindly let him know I wasn’t a prude. I’m just patient and particular.
And, I really wanted to say “honey, trust there is plenty of non-prudish energy coursing through these veins!” :-p
But, that would’ve opened the door to another conversation that I wasn’t even interested in entertaining.
I prefer my life this way. It’s easier. I’m crazy focused. And, I am genuinely happy.
Do I get anxious and lonely?
Napoleon Dynamite voice Heck yes!
The only time it hits me hard is when I lay down in my empty ass bed at night and stare at the pillow next to mine.
Only in the brief moment before I drift off to sleep do I want someone to draw me a bubble bath, and give me a back rub.
I’m not even going to get into how I slept with my laptop on a pillow and snuggled with a rolled up blanket for MONTHS after I broke up with one of my exes because I was so heartbroken and devastated.
Soooo grateful I’m no longer in that depressed space #win.
And, ok I can’t fake. I still snuggle up with my laptop lol.
But that makes the most sense as writing is my one true love :-)